NOT RACIST STEVEN - JERRY CALVIN - MICHAEL TIM - BRIAN Scene Steven and Tim are standing at a bar enjoying a beer. Talking about the mundane and banal. Calvin, a dopey white guy who just wants to do right by the world, approaches the group awkwardly and gestures to the bartender. CALVIN I’ll have a Budweiser. Calvin bumps into Steven. STEVEN Ah, it’s cool. It happens. (jokingly) Just a little wet. CALVIN Let me get you a drink. Hennesy? STEVEN what? TIM Ah nice. Make that two. CALVIN Fantastic. Calvin gestures at the bartender. Steven turns back to Tim and they continue the conversation. STEVEN Uh... Like I was saying... The Seahawks don’t have a chance.... (BEAT) Calvin returns as if he was already having a conversation with them. CALVIN With all the chaos happening in this country I feel I should give back in some way. (CONTINUED) STEVEN What? Calvin is taken aback from Stevens expression. CALVIN I mean... after all, I have seen every Tyler Perry film. STEVEN What?? CALVIN So you know... I’m thinking about going to the next Madea flick and missing Selma. Decisions decisions. I mean let’s be honest, Tyler Perry can do no wrong. TIM He’s a terrible director who notoriously under pays his employees. STEVEN (annoyed with Tim and Calvin’s exchange) What the hell? First off, why do you think I care what movies you watch and two; how the hell is watching a movie giving back. CALVIN You’re right... You’re right. It isn’t giving back... I hashed tagged Ferguson on every tweet. See here’s one... (pulls out phone) Sitting on the John thinking about the Sun! #Ferguson STEVEN What the fuck? that’t not giving back... CALVIN Listening to Jay-Z? STEVEN No CALVIN Drinking Hennesy? STEVEN and TYLER both look at each other in weird agreement. then realizing they got duped like daffy duck. (CONTINUED) STEVEN What? No! TOM Now, volunteering at an underprivileged public school is giving back. Raising awareness for institutionalized youths through organizations is giving back. STEVEN Bothering two people trying to enjoy a beer is NOT giving back. CALVIN Hey man. I’m just trying not to be racist. STEVEN Are you... fucking kidding me? TOM Yo, chill out. He’s relating man... In an odd most backwards kind of way. CALVIN One day when I was in Alabama I saw a black girl and a white boy hold hands. Steven is fuming and turns around as calmly as if dealing with a triggered time bomb. STEVEN LEAVE US ALONE! CALVIN ...So we’re on the same page. You don’t think I’m racist? Right? STEVEN I DIDN’T think that you were racist. CALVIN Good. Glad to hear it. I’m hungry! I’m going to get some Ching Chong Chinese Chicken... You guys like chicken? Steven lunges at calvin as if he’s going to kill him. Tim trys to stop it. BLACK OUT
Jerry Emeka is a writer, producer, actor and all around confused guy. Uninspired and discontent from his years in NYC, Jerry moved to Houston in May 2015 after seeing the talent and drive of Houston comedians and artist of shows put on by Boo Town, MicroSatan, and BETA Theater. You can find Jerry goofing off and procrastinating anywhere inside the loop. If you see him, make sure you ask him what he's supposed to be working on.